Hi guys. Same reason as before. No need to tell why I posted late.
I just want to make a disclaimer note. I'm maybe going to stop blogging for a few months soon. Which means I'm going to close my blog. Mainly it's because I don't want others to know about my private life. And when I mean others, it includes friends. And to those who have been loyal to my "deserted" blog, I thank you for your concern in my well-being. Secondly, it's because that I want to concentrate more on my studies next year. It's getting harder you know. And being a future exco is no easy job. Thirdly, my blog is plain, well, boring. If you are still reading this, I thank you once again. Okay, so let's continue to my post tonight.
Have you heard of the term, "Hedgehoge's Dilemma"? Hedgehoges are mammals with spikes at their body (similar to porcupines). As they get close together with each other to keep warm during the winter, they end up hurting each other because of their spikes. In the end, they have to sacrifice heat for comfort.
In figurative terms, it is related to human's psychology. When a person with Hedgehog's Dilemma gets close to one person, and the relationship gets closer, the person will feel uncomfortable and immediately move back to his/her comfort zone. It suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships.
Okay, so this is the part where I come in. I have a big confession to make to everyone here. I have the Hedgehog's Dilemma. After years of confusion as to what's wrong with me, I finally figured it out. Whenever I meet somebody new in my life, I always get excited as to find a new friend. But as the relationship gets closer, I suddenly feel uncomfortable. And I suddenly stood silent away from that person. And I end up regretting it.
Frankly speaking, I don't expect you to understand how I feel. Because people like me are hard to understand. I find it difficult to open up. Sometimes I want to be sympathised. And other times I just want people to leave me alone. And sometimes, I envy others who are having good times with their friends. It sort of, confusing.
So as to end this subject, I would like to apologize to all whom I have met. I am sorry if I appear to be isolated from others or silent. It's part of my human nature. And I don't blame this on others. And sorry if I have wasted your time. Surely I don't deserve valuable friends which I have now. I'm just plain lucky.